F.A.Q. « Insidiöus Törment

faq

Törment F.A.Q. editor: Rudi Pöller.

General:

Where’s the most metal at?
A: Space is the place, of all places, with the most metal.

I don’t get it – what am I missing?
A: You’re missing the joke because there aint no joke! Funny isn’t it?

What the hell is this site all about?
A: This website is the official homepage of the heavy band Insidiöus Törment. Check it out!

What’s up about the other band called Infernal Torment?
A: There was a band of that name, but they broke up a couple of years ago. There has never been any officially recognized link between the two bands, but since both bands play heavy, it’s likely that they have bumped into each other somewhere on the scene. In terms of their names, there is no link whatsoever…

What is metal?
A: Metal is the common denominator for a number of substances made of metal. Metal is everywhere, it’s in your blood, your mind – everywhere. Metal is a force of nature. Heavy metal is the best metal there is. Because it’s heavy, you have to be strong. Because it’s metal, it’s good. Heavy metal rocks!

Has this site got anything to do with that magic cardgame or what?
A: This website has absolutely NOTHING to do with magic, the gathering, or whatever. It just so happens that the unimaginative people who come up with stuff for that game have found out – probably from this site’s predecessor – that the words insidious and torment go quite well together and conjure powerful mental images that are cool and creatively inspiring.

What is music?
A: Music is any constellation of sounds that seems to be perceived by some people, somewhere, at some time, as being music.

How did I end up here?
A: By accessing the internet, you hooked up to the information freeway. You took a wrong turn at West 23rd street – you should have continued straight ahead for the pr0nz. Instead, you’re here… enjoy!

I was directed here for some information on asbestose in the home, where the hell…?
A: Check OJ’s bio.

The Band:

Are they a real band?
A: They’re as real as you and I…

Are they a bunch of comedians doing this to get rich?
A: Yes No!

Who plays the music?
A: They do, it’s all real.

Do they write their own material?
A: Yup, and it’s kinda rockin’ innit?

What kind of band are they?
A: Unlike your average band, ÏT is beyond genre – they are a rockin’, rollin’, metallizing heavy-band with their own unique style.

How did they really form the band?
A: By incident.

Why is Titten called Gölem, when his real name is Nipples?
A: I beg your pardon, I never promised you a rose garden!

The Music:

Who writes the music?
A: Although most tracks are credited to the band in general, each track has its own unique history. The band unite and offer creative input of all sorts and the end results are usually amazing works of art.

Are cystic scales real?
A: Part of Killer’s research into medieval music revealed a hitherto unknown musical tradition located in the southern part of the Hungsrück, called Mittelälste Hungsrücker Überwasch. The legacy of this tradition has been clarified by Killer into his trademark cystic scales, used indiscriminately doing soloing. So yes, they do exist. Whether you like them or not is up to you..

How do they get their ideas?
A: How did you think up that one? They usually do the same thing. You sit somewhere feeling kinda bored, then you start talking and suddenly a crazy story/concept or idea has come onto your head. You ask questions, they make art.

The Gear:

Do they really wear wigs?
A: There are rumours about this all over the metal world. The band has officially stated that they do not wear wigs, and they have never been photographed without them, if they wear them…

What’s up with the fake beards?
A: Unlike so many other metalbands (no names given, but if you mail me personally with either a nude photo (chicks only) or 10 USD (anybody) I will reveal all!) all beards worn/used in Törment are homegrown, nurtured and cared for by none other than the person who wears it.

Who makes the gear?
A: Some of the gear is homemade, some of it has been purchased in relevant shops, some is of legendary descent.

I see, but WHO sews the gear?
A: Various people, including the band and their assortment of groupies and relatives.

Where can I buy a set of boots like Scream’s?
A: Get in touch with Scream, he will tell you for a nudie pic (of you, not your mom).

Do they like leather?
A: Who doesn’t?

What’s up with OJ’s feet?
A: Oaxhachul Jabbatah wears standard issue demon-feet, size 9½ (Hellish sizes, that is!). If you can lay your hands on them, they’re pretty nifty all-purpose footwear.

Is Limërick really a legendary blade?
A: Legend has it that Steel (see the Vault for notes on his role in the band…) received the blade from the Lady of the Pond with the order that he vanquish the foes of true poetry. Limërick holds considerable power, but only in the hands of Steel can it truly fulfil its legacy. For the time being, Rostock is protecting the blade, as Steel is hibernating in some secret place – rumour has it that he is getting his back re-cast…

The Universe:

Why is the band so hooked on space?
A: Space has the largest amount of metal in the world.

Where is the door to outer space?
A: The door to outer space is located straight ahead, a bit to the right. Check with Thror, god of space, before approaching, as he may be about to close it.

What can I do about the many apparent space/time continuum problems in the ÏT universe, they are driving me nuts!
A: Not a whole lot.

What’s inside of them black holes?
A: There are a number of competing theories. According to one, black holes are wormholes left behind by the extinct race of megagalactic worms known as Mega-worms. Or, they contain seriously fucked up stuff that has been pressed together enourmously. However, the truth is far from these mad ravings. When one or more the eclectic Gods of Trivia encounter each other in space, or deep space, they greet each other through the universal hailing frequencies. In most cases, they move on. Sometimes, and at an increasing rate, they sit down for a mano-a-mano exchange of trivia in the ancient game of knowledge, Haibuku. The convergence of immense amounts of trivia cause a rift in time/space that is only observable to us as the phenomena we call a black hole. Inside the “hole”, the gods of trivia are engaged in a trivia-battle whose outcome determines their individual standing on the universal trivia-ladder. While the gods battle, time as we know it is suspended. There is no hunger inside a black hole, nobody grows old, they only get bored. One of the easier questions in Haibuku is: Name all the questions and their answers of the Genus version of Trivial Pursuit – Earth edition. If you like ‘em a bit harder, ask for the Mars equivalent – that’s a killer!

Who are the guys in the comic?
A: They are your humble, average heavy metal band tweaked by the sick mind of one Jakob Kappel into characters that resemble but are truly unlike the kind of superheroes you’re already familiar with.

Using your computer:

My screen is all black, and there’s no sound from the computer itself..? Hmm…
A: Your computer isn’t turned on. Turn it on.

I keep pressing the power button, but my computer is still not working..??
A: Connect the power cord, it’s the biggest one of all the cords sticking out of the back. Plug it in to the nearest power source.

My mouse isn’t responding properly, I think it’s broken..?!
A: Give it a bit of cheese and it’ll be ok. My mouse prefers Gouda…

My modem is down…??
A: No it’s not! You’re on the net you dummy! Gimme that!

How do I download porn without anybody knowing?
A: Beats me…

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	Törment F.A.Q. editor: Rudi Pöller. General: Where’s the most metal at? A: Space is the place, of all places, with the most metal. I don’t get it – what am I missing? A: You’re missing the joke because there aint no joke! Funny isn’t it? What the hell is this site all about? A: This website is the official homepage of the heavy band Insidiöus Törment. Check it out! What’s up about the other band called Infernal Torment? A: There was a band of that name, but they broke up a couple of years ago. There has never been any officially recognized link between the two bands, but since both bands play heavy, it’s likely that they have bumped into each other somewhere on the scene. In terms of their names, there is no link whatsoever… What is metal? A: Metal is the common denominator for a number of substances made of metal. Metal is everywhere, it’s in your blood, your mind – everywhere. Metal is a force of nature. Heavy metal is the best metal there is. Because it’s heavy, you have to be strong. Because it’s metal, it’s good. Heavy metal rocks! Has this site got anything to do with that magic cardgame or what? A: This website has absolutely NOTHING to do with magic, the gathering, or whatever. It just so happens that the unimaginative people who come up with stuff for that game have found out – probably from this site’s predecessor – that the words insidious and torment go quite well together and conjure powerful mental images that are cool and creatively inspiring. What is music? A: Music is any constellation of sounds that seems to be perceived by some people, somewhere, at some time, as being music. How did I end up here? A: By accessing the internet, you hooked up to the information freeway. You took a wrong turn at West 23rd street – you should have continued straight ahead for the pr0nz. Instead, you’re here… enjoy! I was directed here for some information on asbestose in the home, where the hell…? A: Check OJ’s bio. The Band: Are they a real band? A: They’re as real as you and I… Are they a bunch of comedians doing this to get rich? A: Yes No! Who plays the music? A: They do, it’s all real. Do they write their own material? A: Yup, and it’s kinda rockin’ innit? What kind of band are they? A: Unlike your average band, ÏT is beyond genre – they are a rockin’, rollin’, metallizing heavy-band with their own unique style. How did they really form the band? A: By incident. Why is Titten called Gölem, when his real name is Nipples? A: I beg your pardon, I never promised you a rose garden! The Music: Who writes the music? A: Although most tracks are credited to the band in general, each track has its own unique history. The band unite and offer creative input of all sorts and the end results are usually amazing works of art. Are cystic scales real? A: Part of Killer’s research into medieval music revealed a hitherto unknown musical tradition located in the southern part of the Hungsrück, called Mittelälste Hungsrücker Überwasch. The legacy of this tradition has been clarified by Killer into his trademark cystic scales, used indiscriminately doing soloing. So yes, they do exist. Whether you like them or not is up to you.. How do they get their ideas? A: How did you think up that one? They usually do the same thing. You sit somewhere feeling kinda bored, then you start talking and suddenly a crazy story/concept or idea has come onto your head. You ask questions, they make art. The Gear: Do they really wear wigs? A: There are rumours about this all over the metal world. The band has officially stated that they do not wear wigs, and they have never been photographed without them, if they wear them… What’s up with the fake beards? A: Unlike so many other metalbands (no names given, but if you mail me personally with either a nude photo (chicks only) or 10 USD (anybody) I will reveal all!) all beards worn/used in Törment are homegrown, nurtured and cared for by none other than the person who wears it. Who makes the gear? A: Some of the gear is homemade, some of it has been purchased in relevant shops, some is of legendary descent. I see, but WHO sews the gear? A: Various people, including the band and their assortment of groupies and relatives. Where can I buy a set of boots like Scream’s? A: Get in touch with Scream, he will tell you for a nudie pic (of you, not your mom). Do they like leather? A: Who doesn’t? What’s up with OJ’s feet? A: Oaxhachul Jabbatah wears standard issue demon-feet, size 9½ (Hellish sizes, that is!). If you can lay your hands on them, they’re pretty nifty all-purpose footwear. Is Limërick really a legendary blade? A: Legend has it that Steel (see the Vault for notes on his role in the band…) received the blade from the Lady of the Pond with the order that he vanquish the foes of true poetry. Limërick holds considerable power, but only in the hands of Steel can it truly fulfil its legacy. For the time being, Rostock is protecting the blade, as Steel is hibernating in some secret place – rumour has it that he is getting his back re-cast… The Universe: Why is the band so hooked on space? A: Space has the largest amount of metal in the world. Where is the door to outer space? A: The door to outer space is located straight ahead, a bit to the right. Check with Thror, god of space, before approaching, as he may be about to close it. What can I do about the many apparent space/time continuum problems in the ÏT universe, they are driving me nuts! A: Not a whole lot. What’s inside of them black holes? A: There are a number of competing theories. According to one, black holes are wormholes left behind by the extinct race of megagalactic worms known as Mega-worms. Or, they contain seriously fucked up stuff that has been pressed together enourmously. However, the truth is far from these mad ravings. When one or more the eclectic Gods of Trivia encounter each other in space, or deep space, they greet each other through the universal hailing frequencies. In most cases, they move on. Sometimes, and at an increasing rate, they sit down for a mano-a-mano exchange of trivia in the ancient game of knowledge, Haibuku. The convergence of immense amounts of trivia cause a rift in time/space that is only observable to us as the phenomena we call a black hole. Inside the “hole”, the gods of trivia are engaged in a trivia-battle whose outcome determines their individual standing on the universal trivia-ladder. While the gods battle, time as we know it is suspended. There is no hunger inside a black hole, nobody grows old, they only get bored. One of the easier questions in Haibuku is: Name all the questions and their answers of the Genus version of Trivial Pursuit – Earth edition. If you like ‘em a bit harder, ask for the Mars equivalent – that’s a killer! Who are the guys in the comic? A: They are your humble, average heavy metal band tweaked by the sick mind of one Jakob Kappel into characters that resemble but are truly unlike the kind of superheroes you’re already familiar with. Using your computer: My screen is all black, and there’s no sound from the computer itself..? Hmm… A: Your computer isn’t turned on. Turn it on. I keep pressing the power button, but my computer is still not working..?? A: Connect the power cord, it’s the biggest one of all the cords sticking out of the back. Plug it in to the nearest power source. My mouse isn’t responding properly, I think it’s broken..?! A: Give it a bit of cheese and it’ll be ok. My mouse prefers Gouda… My modem is down…?? A: No it’s not! You’re on the net you dummy! Gimme that! How do I download porn without anybody knowing? A: Beats me… Share this Metal: No Comments »