By Vanessa Warhead 07-06-26

After eight years behind the steaming Törment kettles, Boa has announced that his engagements elsewhere have forced him to part ways with the boys.

Last week Törment’s gifted drum-and-web android announced his resignation. During his long stint in the band he never failed to show his mettle as a calm and cool eye of the storm in the ever-raging tempest of alcoholism and abuse that surrounded him.

He never flinched though he was exposed to extensive bullying, i.e. his nickname, Ronnie “No Metal” Gamboa. The band now wish to apologize and acknowledge that nickel is in fact a metal, though not the heaviest, nor the sturdiest of all metals.

Boa has stated that henceforth he wishes to be “made of buildings” and has undergone extensive surgery to have all his nickel parts replaced by brick substitutes.

Rumours have it that Boa’s decision to split was the result of his inability to find the band’s new rehearsal room, but this is not true. He wasn’t looking for it. His decision to leave the band has sent him on a soul-searching journey on a train bound for nowhere.
The exact location of nowhere is still unknown, but Boa promises to stay in touch and let us know where nowhere is when he gets there.

He will be sorely missed.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, June 26th, 2007 at 9:35 pm